The Amish love a loophole. Though their strict rules forbid electricity, the Amish aren’t crafting creepy dolls by candlelight. They’ve got all manner of oddball gadgets that circumvent their rules to live by. By far the best work around they have is the Amish computer. It’s no MacBook Air, but this rustic hunk of wires and circuitry gets the Amish bashing out spreadsheets, filing their taxes and typing up a storm – so long as it’s for business use. The DeskMate doesn’t have Freecell or the Internet which must make all Amish office workers about 90% more try this out productive than the rest of the working population.
Who knew that being a reclusive and obsessively private community would be an excellent front for a puppy mill biz? The Amish, that’s who! Lancaster County in Pennsylvania has become synonymous with the barbaric puppy farms and the Amish communities are among the worst offenders. From damaging dog vocal chords so they can’t bark to cramming dogs in crates for so long that they are unable to walk, it’s a secretive world that’s making the Amish a ton of money. With some breeders making over $500,000 a year the dogs are being churned out to make more and more money. With over eight million euthanized in the US every year, you might want to think twice before buying a puppy and adopt instead.
4. Once you’ve upset the Amish community, you’re kicked out
Though the Amish are all about community, if you do something to really upset them you’re going to get excommunicated. That means a total shutdown in communication. You’re thrown out of your home and your parents, friends and family won’t speak to you. For life. Just as we saw in Leanne’s backstory on Orange Is The New Black – the Amish really do bear grudges and outcasts have a hard time getting back in. Even if you’ve just done something small to upset the community you can be ‘shunned’ – which can mean sitting alone to eat, seeing your business suffer or just being ignored.
3. To date Amish women you’ll need a horse and buggy
So now you know you can wed your Amish bride for just a few hundred dollars and that they’ll be down for some fun bedroom antics – what about dating? Don’t get too excited lads, as things are definitely rated PG when it comes to courting Amish style. Though things have slightly moved on in recent years, most of the Amish dating scene still centers around the church. Worse still, you have to spend some serious time with the in-laws – before you’ve even kissed. If you’re planning on wooing an Amish girl get yourself to church. Then show your interest by offering her a ride home in your ride – a hummer with buggy wheels doesn’t count – you’ll need to go fully old school on this one. Tbh, it’s probably easier to find someone who’s DTF on Tinder.
2. Amish weddings are cheap AS ….
If you’re contemplating ish gal, there is an upside to counterbalance the whole no tech, no internet and no modern life vibe. The weddings are cheap as can be. Amish brides don’t have a fancy expensive dress, flowers or even a ring. Your bride will have a new dress, but she’ll make it herself. For the most part it’ll look like the dresses Amish women wear each day, but for her wedding, the bride gets to choose the colour. In place of flowers some Amish brides carry celery – though it depends on the community. The one major cost? The food. Weddings can see guests of anywhere between 200-600 people. The good news is the community pitches in and helps with the cooking.